Yesterday I was talking about Hosea 14:4, that God will heal my backsliding and love me freely. (I would use the 2nd person plurals, you and us, except that I'm sure none of you are backsliders like me.) One thing I was thinking as I wrote that but didn't put down was how grateful I am for that verse because lately I feel like I have spiritual ADD. I am not focusing very well. I feel lazy and in a fog, which also explains why I've had so little to say in this blog. (Blog Fog!) That's why I was so grateful for the reminder in that verse that He does the work in my spiritual growth, not me, and He loves me all along the way.
So last night I was preparing for bed, and I was just thinking (pretty carnally -- I really do know better than this, but in the moment, this is what I was thinking), Well, what's the bloody point anyway? His work gets on pretty well whether I'm involved or not, so why do I even need to pay attention?
Truthfully, not only did I know better than to be thinking along those lines, but if I'd been more honest with myself I would have admitted that the kernel of my thoughts was more of this nature: He never does what I say anyway. Let Him go ahead and do things the way He wants, because He clearly doesn't need me, either to be involved or even to pay attention!
Just then I picked up my Charles Spurgeon devotional and read today's entry. Tell me this wasn't God answering my very unholy thoughts!
Let us not sleep, as do others. ~1 Thessalonians 5:8I hang with a small group of Christian women, all the ballet moms, and I have to say, while we're all believers, it is only seldom that our conversation centers on Jesus. I have been around people to work Jesus into every conversation, and that feels weird. Very unrelateable, sometimes manufactured to impress, sometimes natural for them but just embarrassing for the listener. But there is a happy medium. It would be good to turn the talk more to Him.
There are many ways of promoting Christian wakefulness. Among the rest, let me strongly advise Christians to converse together concerning the ways of the Lord. Christian and Hopeful, as they journeyed toward the Celestial City, said to themselves, "To prevent drowsiness in this place, let us fall into good discourse." Christian inquired, "Brother, where shall we begin?" Hopeful answered, "Where God began with us." Then Christian sang this song:
When saints do sleepy grow, let them come hither,Christians who isolate themselves and walk alone are very liable to grow drowsy. Keep Christian company, and you will be kept wakeful by it and refreshed and encouraged to make quicker progress on the road to heaven. But as you take "sweet counsel" (Ps. 55:14) in the ways of God, take care that the theme of your conversation is the Lord Jesus. Let your eyes be constantly looking to Him; let your heart be full of Him, let your lips speak of His worth. Friend, live near the cross, and you will not sleep. Impress on yourself a deep sense of the value of the place to which you are going. If you remember that you are going to heaven, you will not sleep on the road. If you think that hell is behind you, and the devil is pursuing you, you will not loiter. Christian, will you sleep while the pearly gates are open, the songs of angels are waiting for you to join them, and a crown of gold is ready for your brow? In holy fellowship continue to "watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation" (Matt. 26:41).
And hear how these two pilgrims talk together;
Yea, let them learn of them, in any wise,
Thus to keep open their drowsy, slumb'ring eyes.
Saints' fellowship, if it be managed well,
Keeps them awake, and that in spite of hell.
But at the very least I can talk about Him with you, dear non-existent readers. That's what made me laugh, what seemed so much like God, that that very day I had just committed here in my blog to sharing a verse a day for the next month. Maybe that is the cure for my spiritual drowsiness!