Saturday, March 17, 2012

His Breakers and His Waves

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep
at the roar of your waterfalls;
all your breakers and your waves have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands His steadfast love,
and at night His song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
                             Psalm 42:5-8

Well, my soul was not cast down within me and in turmoil until tonight.  Life with a pretty 14 year-old daughter is hard.  It is heart wrenching, tumultuous and ego bruising.  Today was a very fun day.  It was a happy day even.  Until...  I don't even want to go into it.  Partly I can't go into it too much because I don't understand it completely.  What happened to produce the torrent of tears?  I am not sure.  I could repeat the conversation verbatim, but unless you are also a pretty 14 year-old girl, I doubt it would make any more sense to you than it does to me.

Suffice it to say, it has something to do with attention from boys and her mom trying to protect her from what she doesn't understand. 

Anyway, it upsets me to be at odds with her.  Thankfully, the upset lasted less than 30 minutes.  Part of the trouble was exhaustion on her part.  She went directly upstairs to get ready for bed, and then asked me to come up to say good night, by which I knew she wanted to "make up."  Her first words were, "I'm sorry," and we were able to talk about what upset her.  More tears, but they were good tears this time.  Just raw emotion and exhaustion. 

So all's well that ends well, you say?  Oh I don't know.  I have a feeling this is going to go on for awhile.  I can't seem to do or say anything right these days with her.  It's a lost cause.  And every time it does happen, I'll be temporarily devastated.  I should commit this passage to memory, that while I am downcast for a time, I will again praise Him.  When I am downcast, I will remember Him and His steadfast love.  They are His breakers and His waves that are rolling over me, and He is trustworthy.  He commands His steadfast love, and it will be okay.  Just like it was tonight.

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