Truly, truly, I say to you, it was not Moses who gave you the bread from heaven, but My Father gives you the true bread form heaven. For the bread of God is He who comes down from heaven and gives life to the world. They said to Him, "Sir, give us this bread always."
Jesus said to them, "I am the bread of life; whoever comes to Me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in Me shall never thirst. But I said to you that you have seen me and yet do not believe.
I am the bread that came down from heaven.
I am the bread of life. Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness, and they died. This is the bread that comes down from heaven, so that one may eat of it and not die. I am the living bread that came down form heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is My flesh.
Truly, truly I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For My flesh is true food, and My blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on My flesh and drinks My blood abides in Me, and I in him. As the living Father sent Me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on Me, he also will live because of Me. This is the bread that came down from heaven, not as the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.
And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their deeds were evil. John 3:19
Abide in Me, and I in you. John 15:4
Why do I resist abiding in Him? Is it purely forgetfulness? Sometimes, but sometimes isn't it something more? As Jan says, do I love the darkness? Sometimes. I have to admit what I would never display to the world around me: sometimes I do love the darkness. The recesses of my heart sometimes nurse evil thoughts that I am not always willing to forsake. And in those moments, I am not abiding in Him, and I am not feeding on the bread of life, on Him.
Am I ready to forsake the evil in my heart? I feel like a character in a Bible story: Saul chooses to pursue David, David takes Bathsheba, David kills Uriah, the rich young ruler chooses his wealth over Jesus, the Israelites build the golden calf, Peter denies Jesus. Whenever I read these my heart screams, "You big dummies!!! Do the right thing!!!"
But here I am. I am at a crossroads. Which am I going to choose? Do I want to feast on the bread of life, to abide in Him?
Nothing should be more real to me than Christ in me. I get that. I understand it. But times come in the day when I am not willing to live it and I turn back to my fleshly nature. I love the darkness more than the light, and I turn back.
O Lord, help me to not turn back. Teach me to feast on the bread of life all day every day, to abide in You continually. You are my life, my reality: You in me and I in You. Nothing should be more real to me than that.