In my last post I discussed at length my fear of my own growing obsolescence as the kids need me less and less with each passing year. After rambling on for what must seem like centuries to the poor, unsuspecting (yet stalwart) reader, I proved myself unconvinced by my own arguments by repeating the original premise in full whine: But I'm worthless!
What occurs to me is that I suspect that I'm worthless because I am worthless. That is to say, what I have to offer Him is worthless. I have nothing of worth to offer Him except my faith and obedience. There is nothing I am that He needs. My faith is precious to Him and my obedience is pleasing to Him. Other than that, it's all dross.
"I am small and despised, yet I do not forget Your precepts." Ps. 119:141
One line in that last post is particularly true, that life has indeed purged me of any lingering fantasy that there exist unmined treasures deep in my soul, only waiting to be discovered, only wanting time and opportunity to be developed. Hey, I've looked. I got nothin'.
The only good inside there is God and His Word and any truth from Him that I allow to reside there. The minute my own thoughts and flesh creep in, the neighborhood starts to go bad.
"Why do you call Me good? There is no one good except God alone." Luke 18:19
"Great peace have those who love Your law; nothing can make them stumble." Ps. 119:165
It doesn't say, "Great peace have those who do lots of great stuff for God, who throw themselves into lots of great ministries." It says, "Great peace have those who love Your law."
I'll go where God leads me, and who knows what that will mean for my future. But for now, I will love His law and strive to obey Him, and it will be enough.
Thanks for listening!