Sunday, January 3, 2010


Today I feel overwhelmed. I did yesterday too. Part of it, I realized last night, is that I haven't been eating enough and so haven't had the energy to deal with the chaos fast enough. This has happened twice before when I stepped up the exercise. Somehow my body's reaction to more exercise is to not feel especially hungry, so between the endorphin rush of all that physical activity and zeal to trim down, not feeling hungry means that I don't eat. Then I poop out and just want to sit. Finally, the third time around, I'm getting the hang of it. If I want to run, I have to eat, whether I feel hungry or not.

So part of feeling overwhelmed has had to do with the maelstrom continuing to swirl about me and me not having the energy to combat it. But it has also been a busy few weeks. Happy busy, for sure. All the kids are home and off school. Friends of theirs are popping over at all hours, hanging out, eating, playing games. Tom's brother has been over doing a myriad of home repairs. The trappings of Christmas are still evident all around the house. And T never finished overhauling the basement and hall closets, so furniture is displaced (in the foyer, thank you very much), coats are still in piles needing to be sorted either for easy retrieval, storage, or the Salvation Army. Trips to Home Depot for supplies have resulted in bags of light bulbs, bungee cords, adhesives, pastes and other odd handyman stuff, not to mention tools, being left on counters with no real home until the handiwork is accomplished. And people still need to eat. Eat, eat, eat. So much cooking and cleaning the kitchen -- it's hopeless to think I'd get anything else done.

So, I really need my family to go away for a bit. I'm beginning to feel frantic, like I'm drowning in chores I can't get to. But I do love having everyone around, I really do. I just have to hold on, do a little delegating, and chip away at what I can when I can. And try to chill. Just stay chilled.

What does add to my panic though is that tomorrow school starts again (the two kids go off to school and one needs to get back to homeschool -- one will be home from college for another week), along with all the usual running and pressures which never left me with any surplus of time, and now I have all these unfinished projects I'm tripping over to boot.

I need to pray. I do pray. O Lord, please help me. Please help me to find time with You in the midst of all this chaos. And please create order where there seems to be only disorder right now. I look to You as my Savior for eternity and in all these daily needs. Thank You that You are all powerful and only wait to be invited in to help with these ordinary situations and pressures. Please help me, and glorify Yourself here. Please help me trust in Your providence and walk in Your Spirit these next days or weeks as You work to clear up all this mess. Thank You for Your power. I miss time with You too. I so miss hearing Your voice and waiting to hear Your whisper in my ear through Your Word. Please also provide time for me to spend with You. Let me hear Your voice. Amen.

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